Blogging Friends…. When you’re me and you have several dear friends
who are all in their sixties or seventies {older, wiser, experienced women whom
I learn a lot from} health issues on their end are kind of unavoidable.
Somebody who I love dearly and am very close to is currently battling breast
cancer. Well.... Today just so happened to be her fourth {and last!!} round of
chemotherapy!! As it turned out, God threw us all a party via the 2017
Solar Eclipse!! Now, if that’s not cosmic, I don’t know what is!! Plus there
were bombs…. Uh, I mean, loud, resounding, echoing, booming fireworks.... Which did nothing but frighten my poor, trembling, noise phobic mutt, Rosalita!! And me!! My dear
friend’s next 'adventure' is radiation treatment. She will be absolutely alright…. For
my dear friend is definitely a beautiful, strong, brave, courageous, inspiring,
amazing, admirable, resilient woman!! This particular fictional story
was written from an aunt’s/daughter’s perspective {because I am one} for a
Grandmother’s little granddaughters and grandson. Because…. As I have several
good friends who are in their sixties or seventies, I also just so happen to
know many of these women’s grandkids!! Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive,
Raelyn
Note…. ‘Keep On Keepin’ On’ was not initially going to be a children’s story. Hmmm…. I do not remember what ‘genre’ ‘Keep On Keepin’ On’ was going to fall under. {As a rebellious artist, I absolutely hate that word…. ‘Genre’. It feels so limiting to my God-given gifts and abilities!! Anyway….} I was feeling somewhat like a visionary {Blogging Friends say that my fictional stories are brilliant, which must mean that I'm brilliant, but I do not buy it!!} after Google-searching children’s books about Grandmas having breast cancer. I found nothing. So I wrote one!!
“Keep On Keepin’ On”
Cancer. It is probably the most frightening word in our dictionary. For ‘cancer’ brings a sense of uncertainty, it brings a sense of mystery, it brings worries, fears—and prayers sent toward Heaven—along with it. There are doctor’s appointments, there are operations, there are seemingly countless medications which need to be taken…. Including chemotherapy and radiation treatments.
For, no matter how severe—or how ‘highly curable’ it is—cancer sucks.
“Roberta. Susan. Sally. Nancy. Rita. Sheryl. Christina. Robin. Olivia. Wanda. Teresa. Judy. Gloria. Cynthia. Maggie. Carly. Jaclyn. Kathy. Suzanne. Kylie. Giuliana. Hoda,” I said to my nieces, Charlotte and Hazel, “Do you know one thing that these beautiful, strong, brave, courageous women all have in common?”
“What?” Charlotte and Hazel asked simultaneously.
“They are all—each and every one of them—breast cancer survivors!!” I said.
“Really?” exclaimed Hazel, despite not really understanding what I was talking about, “Wow!!”
“What does ‘survivor’ mean?” asked an inquisitive Charlotte, “I do not know that word!!”
“What a good question!!” I said, “It means that they had breast cancer {just like Gran does} but their doctors helped them get better!! They are healthy now!!”
“Did all of those girls lose their hair and go bald?” asked Hazel, “Like what happened to Gran?”
“Yes,” I answered, “They all did. Because one of the medications that those women’s doctors gave them—called chemotherapy—causes complete hair loss. But it was only temporary baldness!! Eventually, those breast cancer survivors all did have their hair grow back!! And so will Gran’s, too, someday!!”
“Like when Mama gave me a haircut?” asked Hazel, “It is growing back, now!!”
“You mean when you gave yourself a haircut?” I said with an enormous smile written on my face, “Well.... Now Gran has a ‘not haircut’!! Get it?!”
I laughed at my joke.
“Yeah!!” said Hazel, “Because Gran does not have any hair!!”
“Charlotte?” I gently said, “You’re suddenly being very quiet over there…. Which is uncharacteristic of you!! Talk to me…. Come on….”
And then Charlotte suddenly interrupted my talking by letting out a wild, crazy, annoyed-sounding, frustrated growl.
“Charlotte….” I softly and patiently said, “What’s the matter? Is your little, very smart, brilliant, genius—yet still childlike—mind processing everything that’s been happening to Gran? What are you thinking, baby….?”
I paused to listen for Charlotte’s soft-spoken answers from such a sensitive soul…. But there were none.
“Charlotte?” I said, “Baby, we do not have to talk about Gran {or breast cancer} if you don’t want to!! I will change the subject!!”
Stay emotionally and mentally strong, Hannah Louise, I thought to myself, For Charlotte. For Hazel. For their baby brother—my nephew—Oscar. For Mom, who is the one that has breast cancer. For myself. To quote Bob Dylan from his song, ‘Tangled Up In Blue’…. ‘The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keepin’ on like a bird that flew….’ We are very good at that. Because…. As a family who has persevered though plenty of trials and tribulations, we keep on keepin’ on!! Breast cancer? Chemotherapy? Radiation treatment? We keep on keepin’ on…. Yes, ‘like a bird that flew’!! Stay emotionally and mentally strong, Hannah Louise. Now is not the time to fall apart!! Now is the time that I become more confident in myself!! Now is the time for growing up, for maturity!! Now is the time to ‘keep on keepin’ on like a bird that flew’.... Even when I do not feel like it!! Take that, Self-Doubt!!
“I miss Gran’s hair….” Charlotte finally said, “It was so pretty, it was white and grey-colored, it was curly, and it always smelled good…. Will Gran’s hair really grow back….?”
“Yes!!” I exclaimed, “And not only that…. But Gran’s hair might even grow back straight and a completely different color!!”
“Really?!” Hazel excitedly said, “Will Gran’s hair grow back purple?! That is my favorite color!!”
I laughed.
“Probably not!!” I said.
“Will Gran’s hair grow back pink?” asked Charlotte in a soft-spoken tone of voice, “That is my favorite color!!”
“No….” I said with a cockeyed smirk written on my face, “But pink just so happens to be the international color for breast cancer, though!!”
“It is?!” said Charlotte with a smile written on her face at last.
“Yes!!” I said, “That is pretty neat, huh?”
“Yeah!!” agreed Charlotte, “It is!!”
Then Charlotte grew momentarily quiet.
“I did not want to see Gran different….” Charlotte confided, “Like another person…. I did not want to see Gran change….”
“I know….” I said, “I understand your thoughts, feelings and emotions….”
“But Gran is still the same Gran as she was before!!” said an insightful Hazel.
“That’s right!!” I said with a smile written on my face, “Gran is still loving, still fun, still nurturing!! She will still bake delicious chocolate chip cookies with you, still ask if you’re alright, still make pizza for lunch!! Gran is just mostly bald right now, that’s all!!”
But Charlotte still looked visibly sad.
“Come here,” I said on that sunny day, “I am going to drive you—and Hazel—somewhere!! Go put your shoes on!!”
“Alright!!” said Hazel, who immediately ran off and put her purple-colored sandals on.
“Why?” asked Charlotte, with a sense of hesitation in her voice, “Where are we going?”
“To Mary’s Place!!” I explained, “Come on!! It will be fun!!”
“Mary’s Place….” said Hazel, who absolutely loves Bruce Springsteen, “You mean the song?”
“Yes!!” I answered.
“But how do you ‘go’ to a song?” asked Charlotte, as she put her pink-colored sandals on.
“Mmmm….” I said, as I held The Rising in my hand, “We push play. We close our eyes. Then we listen and feel everything!! For, no matter what happens to Gran—breast cancer, chemotherapy, radiation treatment, baldness—it will be alright!! Why? Because we’re at Mary’s Place!! But first, we hop into my car!! Let’s go!!”
And hop into my red-colored 2014 Subaru Forester we did!! I buckled both Charlotte’s and Hazel’s car seats. I put The Rising in my vehicle’s CD player. And I immediately skipped over to track number eleven, which is ‘Mary’s Place’!! Within seconds, we were transported, we were moved, we were taken away…. To Mary’s Place!! Neither Charlotte, Hazel nor I stepped foot out of my car. Because we did not have to!! Charlotte and Hazel closed their little eyes. So did I. Then the girls listened and felt everything as Bruce sang!! So did I….
Because Mary’s Place is a refuge, an amazing shelter and church all rolled into one!!
“Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Tell me how do we get this thing started; Meet me at Mary's place….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang in unison on the top of our vocal chords.
“Familiar faces around me; Laughter fills the air; Your lovin’ grace surrounds me; Everybody's here; Furniture's out on the front porch; Music's up loud; I dream of you in my arms; I lose myself in the crowd….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang together.
“Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Tell me how do you live broken-hearted; Meet me at Mary's place….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang in unison on the top of our vocal chords.
“I got a picture of you in my locket; I keep it close to my heart; A light shinin’ in my breast; Leadin’ me through the dark; Seven days, seven candles; In my window light your way; Your favorite record's on the turntable; I drop the needle and pray; (Turn it up); Band's countin' out midnight; (Turn it up); Floor's rumblin' loud; (Turn it up); Singer's callin' up daylight; (Turn it up); And waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up)….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang together.
I then temporarily pushed pause.
“Are you ready for me to turn Brucey up, girls?!” I asked.
“Yeah!!” replied Charlotte and Hazel simultaneously.
“Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang in unison on the top of our vocal chords.
And then ‘Mary’s Place’ ended, so we obviously stopped singing.
“Do you remember that list of breast cancer survivors which I mentioned earlier?” I asked Charlotte and Hazel, “They are—in my opinion—heroines!! Each and every one of them!!”
“What does ‘heroine’ mean?” asked a curious Charlotte, “I do not know that word!!”
“What a good question!!” I said, “Heroine means female hero!!”
I paused momentarily.
“You know what I think?” I said, “Those breast cancer survivors—and that will definitely include Gran someday—are much more than heroines!! They’re superheroes!! Just like Wonder Woman!!”
“And Batgirl?” asked Charlotte.
“Yes!!” I agreed, “Definitely just like Batgirl!!”
“Wait….” said Hazel, “Is Gran just like Supergirl, too?”
“Yes!!” I said, “I cannot wait to add Gran to all of those inspiring, amazing, admirable, resilient breast cancer survivors!!”
Yep…. I thought, My Mom is just like Supergirl…. Wonder Woman…. Batgirl…. Storm…. Black Widow…. Rogue…. Gamora…. Jean Grey…. Just like every single female superhero that has been created!!
“Can we go back to Mary’s Place?” said Charlotte, “Put it on repeat!!”
“Yeah!!” agreed Hazel, “I want to go back to Mary’s Place, too!!”
“Sure!!” I said, with a smile written on my face.
And go back to Mary’s Place we did!!
Note…. ‘Keep On Keepin’ On’ was not initially going to be a children’s story. Hmmm…. I do not remember what ‘genre’ ‘Keep On Keepin’ On’ was going to fall under. {As a rebellious artist, I absolutely hate that word…. ‘Genre’. It feels so limiting to my God-given gifts and abilities!! Anyway….} I was feeling somewhat like a visionary {Blogging Friends say that my fictional stories are brilliant, which must mean that I'm brilliant, but I do not buy it!!} after Google-searching children’s books about Grandmas having breast cancer. I found nothing. So I wrote one!!
“Keep On Keepin’ On”
Cancer. It is probably the most frightening word in our dictionary. For ‘cancer’ brings a sense of uncertainty, it brings a sense of mystery, it brings worries, fears—and prayers sent toward Heaven—along with it. There are doctor’s appointments, there are operations, there are seemingly countless medications which need to be taken…. Including chemotherapy and radiation treatments.
For, no matter how severe—or how ‘highly curable’ it is—cancer sucks.
“Roberta. Susan. Sally. Nancy. Rita. Sheryl. Christina. Robin. Olivia. Wanda. Teresa. Judy. Gloria. Cynthia. Maggie. Carly. Jaclyn. Kathy. Suzanne. Kylie. Giuliana. Hoda,” I said to my nieces, Charlotte and Hazel, “Do you know one thing that these beautiful, strong, brave, courageous women all have in common?”
“What?” Charlotte and Hazel asked simultaneously.
“They are all—each and every one of them—breast cancer survivors!!” I said.
“Really?” exclaimed Hazel, despite not really understanding what I was talking about, “Wow!!”
“What does ‘survivor’ mean?” asked an inquisitive Charlotte, “I do not know that word!!”
“What a good question!!” I said, “It means that they had breast cancer {just like Gran does} but their doctors helped them get better!! They are healthy now!!”
“Did all of those girls lose their hair and go bald?” asked Hazel, “Like what happened to Gran?”
“Yes,” I answered, “They all did. Because one of the medications that those women’s doctors gave them—called chemotherapy—causes complete hair loss. But it was only temporary baldness!! Eventually, those breast cancer survivors all did have their hair grow back!! And so will Gran’s, too, someday!!”
“Like when Mama gave me a haircut?” asked Hazel, “It is growing back, now!!”
“You mean when you gave yourself a haircut?” I said with an enormous smile written on my face, “Well.... Now Gran has a ‘not haircut’!! Get it?!”
I laughed at my joke.
“Yeah!!” said Hazel, “Because Gran does not have any hair!!”
“Charlotte?” I gently said, “You’re suddenly being very quiet over there…. Which is uncharacteristic of you!! Talk to me…. Come on….”
And then Charlotte suddenly interrupted my talking by letting out a wild, crazy, annoyed-sounding, frustrated growl.
“Charlotte….” I softly and patiently said, “What’s the matter? Is your little, very smart, brilliant, genius—yet still childlike—mind processing everything that’s been happening to Gran? What are you thinking, baby….?”
I paused to listen for Charlotte’s soft-spoken answers from such a sensitive soul…. But there were none.
“Charlotte?” I said, “Baby, we do not have to talk about Gran {or breast cancer} if you don’t want to!! I will change the subject!!”
Stay emotionally and mentally strong, Hannah Louise, I thought to myself, For Charlotte. For Hazel. For their baby brother—my nephew—Oscar. For Mom, who is the one that has breast cancer. For myself. To quote Bob Dylan from his song, ‘Tangled Up In Blue’…. ‘The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keepin’ on like a bird that flew….’ We are very good at that. Because…. As a family who has persevered though plenty of trials and tribulations, we keep on keepin’ on!! Breast cancer? Chemotherapy? Radiation treatment? We keep on keepin’ on…. Yes, ‘like a bird that flew’!! Stay emotionally and mentally strong, Hannah Louise. Now is not the time to fall apart!! Now is the time that I become more confident in myself!! Now is the time for growing up, for maturity!! Now is the time to ‘keep on keepin’ on like a bird that flew’.... Even when I do not feel like it!! Take that, Self-Doubt!!
“I miss Gran’s hair….” Charlotte finally said, “It was so pretty, it was white and grey-colored, it was curly, and it always smelled good…. Will Gran’s hair really grow back….?”
“Yes!!” I exclaimed, “And not only that…. But Gran’s hair might even grow back straight and a completely different color!!”
“Really?!” Hazel excitedly said, “Will Gran’s hair grow back purple?! That is my favorite color!!”
I laughed.
“Probably not!!” I said.
“Will Gran’s hair grow back pink?” asked Charlotte in a soft-spoken tone of voice, “That is my favorite color!!”
“No….” I said with a cockeyed smirk written on my face, “But pink just so happens to be the international color for breast cancer, though!!”
“It is?!” said Charlotte with a smile written on her face at last.
“Yes!!” I said, “That is pretty neat, huh?”
“Yeah!!” agreed Charlotte, “It is!!”
“I did not want to see Gran different….” Charlotte confided, “Like another person…. I did not want to see Gran change….”
“I know….” I said, “I understand your thoughts, feelings and emotions….”
“But Gran is still the same Gran as she was before!!” said an insightful Hazel.
“That’s right!!” I said with a smile written on my face, “Gran is still loving, still fun, still nurturing!! She will still bake delicious chocolate chip cookies with you, still ask if you’re alright, still make pizza for lunch!! Gran is just mostly bald right now, that’s all!!”
But Charlotte still looked visibly sad.
“Come here,” I said on that sunny day, “I am going to drive you—and Hazel—somewhere!! Go put your shoes on!!”
“Alright!!” said Hazel, who immediately ran off and put her purple-colored sandals on.
“Why?” asked Charlotte, with a sense of hesitation in her voice, “Where are we going?”
“To Mary’s Place!!” I explained, “Come on!! It will be fun!!”
“Mary’s Place….” said Hazel, who absolutely loves Bruce Springsteen, “You mean the song?”
“Yes!!” I answered.
“But how do you ‘go’ to a song?” asked Charlotte, as she put her pink-colored sandals on.
“Mmmm….” I said, as I held The Rising in my hand, “We push play. We close our eyes. Then we listen and feel everything!! For, no matter what happens to Gran—breast cancer, chemotherapy, radiation treatment, baldness—it will be alright!! Why? Because we’re at Mary’s Place!! But first, we hop into my car!! Let’s go!!”
And hop into my red-colored 2014 Subaru Forester we did!! I buckled both Charlotte’s and Hazel’s car seats. I put The Rising in my vehicle’s CD player. And I immediately skipped over to track number eleven, which is ‘Mary’s Place’!! Within seconds, we were transported, we were moved, we were taken away…. To Mary’s Place!! Neither Charlotte, Hazel nor I stepped foot out of my car. Because we did not have to!! Charlotte and Hazel closed their little eyes. So did I. Then the girls listened and felt everything as Bruce sang!! So did I….
Because Mary’s Place is a refuge, an amazing shelter and church all rolled into one!!
“Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Tell me how do we get this thing started; Meet me at Mary's place….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang in unison on the top of our vocal chords.
“Familiar faces around me; Laughter fills the air; Your lovin’ grace surrounds me; Everybody's here; Furniture's out on the front porch; Music's up loud; I dream of you in my arms; I lose myself in the crowd….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang together.
“Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Meet me at Mary's place, we're gonna have a party; Tell me how do you live broken-hearted; Meet me at Mary's place….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang in unison on the top of our vocal chords.
“I got a picture of you in my locket; I keep it close to my heart; A light shinin’ in my breast; Leadin’ me through the dark; Seven days, seven candles; In my window light your way; Your favorite record's on the turntable; I drop the needle and pray; (Turn it up); Band's countin' out midnight; (Turn it up); Floor's rumblin' loud; (Turn it up); Singer's callin' up daylight; (Turn it up); And waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up); Waitin' for that shout from the crowd; (Turn it up)….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang together.
I then temporarily pushed pause.
“Are you ready for me to turn Brucey up, girls?!” I asked.
“Yeah!!” replied Charlotte and Hazel simultaneously.
“Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up….” Charlotte, Hazel and I sang in unison on the top of our vocal chords.
And then ‘Mary’s Place’ ended, so we obviously stopped singing.
“Do you remember that list of breast cancer survivors which I mentioned earlier?” I asked Charlotte and Hazel, “They are—in my opinion—heroines!! Each and every one of them!!”
“What does ‘heroine’ mean?” asked a curious Charlotte, “I do not know that word!!”
“What a good question!!” I said, “Heroine means female hero!!”
I paused momentarily.
“You know what I think?” I said, “Those breast cancer survivors—and that will definitely include Gran someday—are much more than heroines!! They’re superheroes!! Just like Wonder Woman!!”
“And Batgirl?” asked Charlotte.
“Yes!!” I agreed, “Definitely just like Batgirl!!”
“Wait….” said Hazel, “Is Gran just like Supergirl, too?”
“Yes!!” I said, “I cannot wait to add Gran to all of those inspiring, amazing, admirable, resilient breast cancer survivors!!”
Yep…. I thought, My Mom is just like Supergirl…. Wonder Woman…. Batgirl…. Storm…. Black Widow…. Rogue…. Gamora…. Jean Grey…. Just like every single female superhero that has been created!!
“Can we go back to Mary’s Place?” said Charlotte, “Put it on repeat!!”
“Yeah!!” agreed Hazel, “I want to go back to Mary’s Place, too!!”
“Sure!!” I said, with a smile written on my face.
And go back to Mary’s Place we did!!