I'm sort of in the process of just working on what is speaking to me at a particular moment. That's very common for me right now. --Bruce Springsteen, January 9th, 2014

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

“Bob The Wiener Dog”

Is there anybody alive out there?!’ {Bruce Springsteen}. There have not been any positive comments on my last three fictional stories!! So!! I sort of thought, ‘screw you’, I disappeared for three months, and I allowed myself a much-needed Summer break from ‘Minuscule is good!’!! Meanwhile, I have created four fictional stories while also partaking on—surprise, surprise—an incredible soul searching journey!! As resulted, I’ve spent all year {thus far} ‘taking cues’ from Bob Dylan, learning how to be a badass, and deciding that I truly don’t care about whether {or not} my fictional stories receive positive comments anymore!! Peace out, Mary Lou

Note Number One…. I am a writer, an artist who ‘paints pictures’ with words!! This is my calling, my God-given ability, gift and talent…. The only thing that I can do well!! I possess a crazy, never-shuts-down brain…. I always have and, hopefully, I always will!! I possess a wild imagination, as well…. I always have and, hopefully, I always will!! Even as I grew up, I was ‘writing’ fictional stories within my head…. Ask around…. They will tell you that this is the truth!! Growing up, I was a weird, somewhat eccentric, misfit girl…. I still am, now I’m just older and more mature!! Growing up, I had a white-colored boat bumper named ‘Bob’ that we found at our family’s annual Summertime camping location. My crazy, never-shuts-down brain and my wild imagination—which both serve me so well as an artist—‘wrote’ this fictional story!! Yes, yes…. ‘Bob’ was my wiener dog!! As always, I added several details!!

Note Number Two…. Since today marks the seventeenth anniversary of Tuesday, September 11th, 2001—when terrorists attacked America, murdered thousands, and collapsed the twin towers—to quote Bruce Springsteen…. ‘Come on up for the risin’, come on up, lay your hands in mine, come on up for the risin’, come on up for the risin’ tonight’. May we never forget…. Every time an airplane flies over our house roof—which is frequently—I am pausing and remembering seventeen years ago today.

Edited by Kara Kent!!

“Bob The Wiener Dog”

Just Say ‘No’ To Animal Cruelty Association. Seventy-five Percent Mixed Breed Dog Shelter. The veganism movement. These are two organizations {and one movement} that all do good deeds when it concerns animals. However. Shockingly enough, even during this current day and age, poor, innocent, helpless animals {such as canines, for example}, are still horrifically abused. They’re bruised, bloodied, maimed, scarred and deformed. Animals {such as canines, for example}, are still starved to nothing but skin and bones. Animals {such as canines, for example}, are neglected or abandoned. Yes, despite everybody’s tireless efforts with Just Say ‘No’ To Animal Cruelty Association, Seventy-five Percent Mixed Breed Dog Shelter and the veganism movement, abuse still happens. Unfortunately. This was the case with an adorable male miniature smooth haired dachshund.

His fur had been painted white and {shockingly}, he had been used as a boat bumper and was eventually abandoned, left for dead.

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“What was that sound?” said Rick, who is a tan-skinned, beard-faced family friend.

He had been hiking along Dragonfly Lake’s Laura Ingalls Wilder Trailhead with my brother, Jeremy Michael, and I.

“Is it Bigfoot?” said Jeremy Michael with a frightened expression written on his face, “Oh, I am terrified of him!! Why? Because Bigfoot is a vicious, large-sized, ape-like monster!! That’s why!! I heard that Bigfoot’s ghost resides here, at Dragonfly Lake!! Oh, he is out to haunt us!!”

“It is not Bigfoot!!” I said matter-of-factly, “Nobody has ever even seen him!! Why? Because Bigfoot is an elusive creature!! He does not want to ever be seen or ‘discovered’!! And that is exactly the way Bigfoot likes it!! Why? Because Bigfoot is an extremely private, misunderstood, large-sized, ape-like creature!! He’s not a quote-unquote ‘vicious monster’…. Bigfoot is actually kind and gentle!! But he hides away as a recluse so that nobody will ever see him!! Why? Because should a group of Bigfoot hunters witness or find him? The paparazzi will snap literally countless pictures…. He’ll be all over magazine covers and in newspapers…. Hollywood will want to film a major motion picture about Bigfoot’s Life…. Then, he’ll be reluctantly famous!!”

“Where did you imagine up such a creative story like that, Hannah Louise?!” exclaimed Rick, “I love it!!”

But before I could say anything, Rick spoke once more.

Sssshhh….” Rick patiently said, “Do not answer that, Hannah Louise!! Sssshhh…. What was that sound? It is definitely not Bigfoot, Jeremy Michael…. Listen!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“I think it is…. A dog!!” exclaimed Rick with a sense of urgency in his voice, “The crying sound is coming from down there, in Dragonfly Lake’s waters!! Come on, Hannah Louise and Jeremy Michael!! Follow me!! Let’s see if we cannot hike down there….”

Alright!!” I said as I followed Rick.

“Hey, wait for me!!” said Jeremy Michael as he ran after us.

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

Heartbreaking. Desperate. Lonesome. Sad. Soul-bleeding. Those five words worked wonders in describing precisely what this poor miniature dachshund’s whining, whimpering, yelping and yapping sounded like. Was he barking simply to alert his people of neighbors passing by? No. Was he barking in a protect-his-family-from-harm sort of guard dog fashion? No. Was he simply barking because somebody had just stepped foot onto the front porch? No. As I followed Rick down toward Dragonfly Lake’s waters, I listened closely. Was this poor miniature dachshund whining and whimpering because of petrified fear? Yes. Was this poor miniature dachshund yelping and yapping out of physical pain? Yes. Did this poor miniature dachshund urgently need Rick, Jeremy Michael and I to rescue him? Yes!!

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“It is a dog!!” exclaimed Rick, “Oh, my gosh!! It is a miniature dachshund!! Oh, my word….”

Rick paused for a nanosecond.

“And not only that….” said Rick, as his forehead furrowed, “But he or she is tied to a…. Boat? What on Earth….?”

We observed the poor miniature dachshund as he attempted to climb up a purple-painted boat {out of Dragonfly Lake’s waters} to no avail.

“But who the heck would do that to an innocent dog?” I said with a judgmental attitude, “I don’t understand…. Why would anybody tie some helpless miniature dachshund to their boat?”

“I do not know, Hannah Louise,” answered Rick.

“What if the poor miniature dachshund drowned?” I protested, “Those boaters—whoever they are—were obviously not giving him or her a lovingfureverhome!! What if the poor miniature dachshund became so terribly injured that he or she was rendered paralyzed?”

“Hannah Louise, please stop talking!!” commanded Rick, “Help your brother and I lift him or her out of Dragonfly Lake’s freezing cold waters!! We are going to save this poor little miniature dachshund’s Life!! Hannah Louise and Jeremy Michael…. Talk to him or her with a soft, soothing, nurturing tone of voice. But be careful…. He or she is most likely badly injured!! Watch that this terribly frightened miniature dachshund does not bite you!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Hey there, little dog….” Rick slowly said as he began untying the rope from his or her neck, “We are not going to hurt you!! Nice puppy….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Hannah Louise, Jeremy Michael….” commanded Rick in a soft tone of voice, “Be prepared to carefully catch the miniature dachshund when I set him or her free!!”

Roger that!!” said Jeremy Michael and I in unison.

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“You’re a good dog!!” said Jeremy Michael, whose voice sounded very soothing, “You know that? You’re a good, good, good, good, good dog!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“I do not know who those heartless Dragonfly Lake campers are that tied you to this boat….” I said in a nurturing tone of voice, “Sssshhh…. Don’t you cry…. What those boaters did was dog abuse, bullying, and animal cruelty all rolled into one!! But I will love you forever….”

“I have a really, really, really, really, really good idea!!” exclaimed Jeremy Michael, “Let’s keep this miniature dachshund!!”

Yeah!!” said Hannah Louise, “Mom and Dad will definitely say ‘yes’, especially after hearing the story of how we found this poor, innocent, helpless, abused miniature dachshund and helped Rick save his or her Life!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

Hannah Louise…. Jeremy Michael….” said Rick as he struggled to untie the poor miniature dachshund’s rope, “I never said that you two could keep this dog!! He or she already has quote-unquote ‘owners’!! I cannot promise that you will be able to keep this miniature dachshund!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“But, Rick, that is not fair!!” I protested, “His or her so-called ‘pet parents’ used their poor, innocent, helpless, living, and breathing miniature dachshund as a freakinboat bumper!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“I completely understand that, Hannah Louise….” said Rick as he kept struggling to untie the poor miniature dachshund’s rope, “And if I find these boaters—also known as this dog’s quote-unquote ‘owners’—then I’ll definitely report them to Just Say ‘No’ To Animal Cruelty Association!!

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“But shouldn’t you call the police?” I asked with a judgmental attitude, “And have his or her so-called ‘pet parents’ arrested for dog abuse? Shouldn’t you tell Dragonfly Lake’s forest ranger, Dale, that we found a nearly drowning, most likely badly injured, terribly frightened miniature dachshund tied to somebody’s boat?” 

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Hannah Louise…. Jeremy Michael….” said Rick, “Talk to the miniature dachshund with a soft, soothing, nurturing tone of voice…. And be prepared to carefully catch him or her…. I almost have the rope untied!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“I have you, little dog….” I said in a soft, soothing, nurturing tone of voice, as I wrapped my arms around the poor miniature dachshund’s white-painted body, “Do not worry…. I have you, baby….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Do not be frightened, little dog….” said Jeremy Michael in a soft, soothing, nurturing tone of voice, “We will not let you drown, buddy….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

Man, they certainly tied this rope very tight,” said Rick, “Alright, be prepared to carefully catch the miniature dachshund, Hannah Louise and Jeremy Michael…. Because his or her rope will finally come loose in one, two, three, four….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

A rescue mission. That was definitely what Rick, Jeremy Michael and I were on as together we saved the Life of this poor, innocent, helpless, badly hurt, nearly drowning, terribly frightened, male miniature smooth haired dachshund. Our rescue mission almost made me feel as though we were all four firefighters!! With Rick as Jeremy Michael’s and my Fire Chief!! Our rescue mission felt as though we were serving in a military operation!! With Rick as Jeremy Michael’s and my General!! Also, because we were, quite literally, stealing somebody else’s miniature dachshund during this rescue mission? It definitely felt like a weaponless, violence and murder-free heist, too!! With Rick, Jeremy Michael and I all three playing Tom Cruise’s character, Ethan Hunt, from Mission: Impossible!!

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“I have him!!” I announced, “And he is a boy miniature dachshund!! Trust me on that one!! I, uh, I kind of touched his penis!!”

Well done, Hannah Louise!!” said Rick.

“You touched his penis?” exclaimed Jeremy Michael, “Cool!! Did he urinate on you?”

I do not know….” I said, “Obviously his entire body is wet from being in Dragonfly Lake’s waters!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Does anybody have a beach towel with them so that we can dry this poor little miniature dachshund’s fur and carefully wrap him up in it?” asked Rick.

“I do!!” said Jeremy Michael, “I packed a beach towel for just in case we got wet in Dragonfly Lake’s waters!! Well, actually….”

Then, Jeremy Michael shot me an apologetic facial expression.

“It is really Hannah Louise’s The Little Mermaid beach towel!!” said Jeremy Michael.

“You packed Ariel?!” I said with shock in my voice, “What about your Han Solo beach towel?”

“It was hanging on the line to dry!!” said Jeremy Michael, “Sorry….

“It is alright….” I said, “What truly matters is that we have a beach towel to dry this poor, innocent, helpless little miniature dachshund’s white-painted fur and carefully wrap him up in it!!”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Oh my goodness….” gasped Rick as he gingerly took the miniature dachshund from me and carefully wrapped him in my beach towel, “This poor dog is so underweight that he must be starving to death….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

Poor baby….” I said, “His white-painted fur is also covered in fleas…. I saw several of them when I was holding him….”

“Well, this poor miniature dachshund is beyond dirty….” said Rick, “I mean, he’s filthy…. Who knows what his Life was like before we rescued him….”

Yeah….” I said with a judgmental attitude, “He most likely slept in his own urine and poop….”

Ewwww….” said Jeremy Michael, “That is disgusting!!”

“I absolutely agree….” I said, “His poor little body also has several mosquito bites from being used as a living, and breathing boat bumper at Dragonfly Lake….”

“He definitely needs an incredibly healing, warm, soothing bath, that is for certain….” said Rick.

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“He is shaking….” said Jeremy Michael, “Like a Chihuahua…. Does that mean he is freezing cold?”

Possibly….” said Rick, “He has been in Dragonfly Lake’s freezing cold waters…. The poor little miniature dachshund is probably shivering….”

“That or he’s trembling as resulted from being used, abused and mistreated by his sorry excuse for ‘pet parents’….” I said with a judgmental attitude.

Then, I softened my tone.

Poor baby….” I said, “He most likely suffers from anxiety issues and does not trust us, or anybody for that matter….”

Probably….” said Rick, “I think that he has suffered through a lot…. More than we will ever even know….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

Ssshhh….” said Rick in a soft, soothing, nurturing tone of voice, as he cuddled with the miniature dachshund, “It is alright, little dog….”

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“Here, let me hold him….” I said.

Then, Rick carefully passed the miniature dachshund over to me.

Whine, whimper, yelp, yap, whine….

“‘Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird….” I softly sang, “‘And if that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring; And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's going to buy you a looking glass; And if that looking glass gets broke, Mama's going to buy you a billy goat; And if that billy goat won't pull, Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull; And if that cart and bull turn over, Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover; And if that dog named Rover won't bark, Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart; And if that horse and cart fall down, you'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.’”

Then {as if by a divine miracle}, the miniature dachshund stopped whining, whimpering, yelping, yapping and crying!!

Wow, Hannah Louise….” exclaimed Rick, “You really have the magic touch!!”

Yeah, she has a special way with dogs!!” said Jeremy Michael, “Plus roosters, cats, pigs, snakes and horses, as well!! Hannah Louise has ‘the magic touch’ with every single animal on our entire planet!!”

“I knew that….” said Rick, “But seeing is believing!! You could be a veterinarian someday, Hannah Louise!!”

“I know!!” I said with confidence in my soft, soothing, nurturing tone of voice, “Look…. He is not trembling anymore….!!”

Good!!” said Rick, “You keep cuddling with him, Hannah Louise!!”

Then, Rick paused for a nanosecond.

Jeremy Michael?” said Rick.

Yeah?” said Jeremy Michael.

Follow me down here as I investigate the boat,” said Rick, “Let’s see if we cannot find this miniature dachshund’s quote-unquote ‘owners’ together!!”

Alright!!” said Jeremy Michael.

Hannah Louise?” said Rick.

To which I stopped softly humming ‘Hush Little Baby’ and speechlessly looked up from the miniature dachshund in my arms.

Stay right here,” said Rick, “Your brother and I will not be too far away from you!! Don’t wander off!!”

“Even though I have Dragonfly Lake’s campgrounds memorized by heart and I know my way around?” I asked.

Yes,” answered Rick, “Stay right here, Hannah Louise!!”

Aye aye, Captain!!” I said with a cockeyed smirk written on my face.

“I mean it,” said Rick, “You may have Dragonfly Lake’s campgrounds memorized by heart and know your way around, but these woods are huge!! Stay right here!!”

Roger that!!” I said with sincerity in my voice.

‘Stay right here’. Those were Rick’s—our General, Fire Chief, and Commanding Officer all rolled into one—words. ‘Stay right here’. Do not search Dragonfly Lake’s familiar campgrounds—with the miniature dachshund in my arms—for his so-called ‘pet parents’. ‘Stay right here’. Do not walk back toward campground number five—where we were staying—to excitedly show Mom and Dad this poor, innocent, helpless, abused, beautiful miniature dachshund that we rescued. ‘Stay right here’. Do not walk toward ‘Bigfoot’s Cabin’, a lone little house—with the miniature dachshund in my arms—or wander to Dragonfly Lake’s wooden docks. ‘Stay right here’. Since our rescue mission {as I have mentioned before} felt like a weaponless, violence and murder-free heist from Mission: Impossible? All I could say to Rick was….

“Yes sir, Mr. Ethan Hunt!!”

Ohhhhh-kay….” said Rick, “Whatever that is supposed to mean!! Just stay right here, Hannah Louise!!”

“She will!!” said Jeremy Michael, “Hannah Louise sincerely meant that Mission: Impossible reference!! She will stay right here….”

Then, Jeremy Michael paused for a nanosecond.

“….Mr. Ethan Hunt!!” said Jeremy Michael with a smile written on his face.

Alright, let’s go and investigate that purple-painted boat!!” commanded Rick, “Come with me, Jeremy Michael!!”

Alright!!” said Jeremy Michael.

Purple?! I angrily thought, as I cuddled with the miniature dachshund, Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!! Their boat is painted purple?! Now isn’t that just a cruel irony!! Why? Because purple is not only a lovely color, but it also just so happens to be the color of animal abuse awareness, as well. See? That is why it’s a cruel irony!! How dare these so-called ‘pet parents’ have a purple-painted boat…. Then use their living and breathing miniature dachshund {poor baby}, as a canine boat bumper!!

I held the poor, innocent, helpless smooth haired miniature dachshund close to my beating heart.

Hello?” hollered Rick as he and Jeremy Michael investigated the boat, “Is anybody here? We have your miniature dachshund!!”

To which nobody answered back.

“Let’s look inside the boat’s windows,” suggested Jeremy Michael, “Maybe that way, we will be able to see somebody!!”

Good idea!!” exclaimed Rick.

And look through the boat’s windows they both did…. But nobody was inside.

“Wait, there is a handwritten note taped to this window!!” announced Jeremy Michael.

What does it say?” asked Rick, “Can you read it?”

Yes….” said Jeremy Michael.

I craned my ears and I listened very closely as Jeremy Michael read their note aloud while I cuddled with the miniature dachshund.

“It says….” read Jeremy Michael, “‘If you have found me, I am obviously tied to P., N. and W.’s boat!! You know the phrase ‘finders keeps, losers weepers’? Well…. P., N. and W. will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever weep if you keep me!! Why? I am a stupid, worthless, annoying mutt. {I have been called many, many, many, many, many things by P., N. and W….. A loyal companion is definitely not one of them!! Oh yeah…. My masters also never call me a cuddly lapdog!!} I yap and I bark way too much. I may eventually have expensive health issues like intervertebral disc disease, also known as a slipped disc. So, feel free to take me toward your Dragonfly Lake campground…. And even home!! But please, please, please, please, please leave the boat here…. Because Purple Rain belongs to P., N. and W.!! Yes, I am free!! You will not need to pay P., N. and W. a single penny for me!! Yours truly, It The Dog’”

“‘It’?!” I protested with a judgmental tone of voice as soon as Rick and Jeremy Michael returned, “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!! P., N. and W. call this beautiful miniature dachshund ‘It’?! Do they even care to know that he is a boy? Probably not!! Because his quote-unquote ‘masters’ seemingly only care about their precious boat, Purple Rain than this living, and breathing, poor, innocent, helpless miniature dachshund!! That is preposterous!! It’s inconceivable!! That is despicable!! He even has open wounds because his poor little body bashed against that boat!!

“I absolutely, wholeheartedly, one-hundred and ten percent agree, Hannah Louise,” said Rick, “He hasn’t been neutered, either….”

“Are you serious?!” Jeremy Michael happily exclaimed, “He can have puppies?!” “Cool!! I want him to get another dog pregnant and have puppies!!”

“That isn’t a good idea, Jeremy Michael,” said Rick.

“Why not?” asked Jeremy Michael, “Since P., N. and W. obviously don’t even want this poor miniature dachshund, then we will be getting a new dog and puppies, too!! Well…. That will only work if he has puppies!! It sounds like a good idea to me!!”

“Because leaving this poor miniature dachshund unaltered and allowing him to have puppies is irresponsible dog ownership!!” I explained, “Besides, it’s not like we will get his puppies, anyway, Jeremy Michael…. He isn’t going to be the pregnant dog!!”

“Plus—do not forget, Jeremy Michael and Hannah Louise—your parents still have not said ‘yes’ about keeping this poor miniature dachshund!!” said Rick.

“Oh, they will!!” exclaimed Jeremy Michael and I in unison.

An animal activist and a vegan. That would describe our Dad. A cosmic lover and firm believer of happy endings. That would describe our Mom. When you combine a passionate, vegan, animal activist with an unapologetic fanatic of Hallmark film-like happy endings, chances are, we will be able to keep this adorable, poor, innocent, helpless, abused, neglected, abandoned male smooth haired miniature dachshund who was wrongfully used as P., N. and W.’s {also known as his so-called ‘pet parents’} living, and breathing boat bumper!! Yes, the odds of bringing this miniature dachshund home with us were already in our favor…. Even without asking!! Because Mom and Dad will definitely understand!!

Sure enough…. Mom and Dad not only understood, but they, too, felt sorry for this poor miniature dachshund!!

“He is not even wearing a dog collar or an incredibly cute nametag with his phone number on it….” I said as I was cuddling with the miniature dachshund, “So we don’t know what to call him!! He needs a name…. What should we call him?”

“How about ‘Bob’?” suggested Rick.

“Why don’t we name him ‘Lucky’?” suggested Jeremy Michael, “Because he is definitely hard to kill!! Or what if we name him ‘Miracle’?”

Lucky is my very favorite puppy in 101 Dalmatians!!” I exclaimed, “Plus there’s a strong anti-dog abuse message in that movie!! Why? Because Cruella De Vil wanted to murder and skin those adorable Dalmatian puppies for her fur coat!! Since our poor, innocent, helpless miniature dachshund was actually abused, ‘Lucky’ feels flawlessly befitting!!”

“Wait…. Why did you suggest that we name him ‘Bob’, Rick?” asked Jeremy Michael.

“Because….” explained Rick, “When we rescued this poor miniature dachshund, he was bobbing out of Dragonfly Lake’s freezing cold waters and climbing up the slippery boat in an effort to survive!!”

“I love it!!” I said with a smile written on my face, “Bob was bobbing out of Dragonfly Lake’s waters!!

So do I!!” agreed Jeremy Michael.

Hello Bob….” I said as I kissed the top of his head, “Welcome to the family, buddy!!